My Teammates Are All Crazy – Ch. 1

　　    Jing Yu checked his streaming equipment one last time, and after making there were no problems, he started his stream the second the clock hit 6:00.

            【On the dot!】
            【On time, as always!】
            【Will we see Gold Fish^[1]-sama’s face today~?】
　　  【Looks like we won’t.】

　　    Countless similar barrage comments floated across another computer screen.

　　    Jing Yu turned his head to look and couldn’t help but laugh softly.  “Good evening guys, what do you want to watch me play today?”

            【Demon Lord!】
            【Has to be Demon Lord!】
            【Wanna see your Frozen Heart beat the enemy team into submission!】

　　    Jing Yu shrugged, unsurprised by the comments.

　　    As a game streamer who relied on his skills, the game he played the most in the last few months was a popular MOBA called 《Lord Devil》, translated as 《Demon Lord》^[2] in Chinese.

　　    In this game, he mainly played as the jungler, during which he mostly used the demon Frozen Heart.  There were even comments calling him the top Frozen Heart of the mainland server.

　　    Technically, they’re not wrong.  Since, other than Jing Yu, there isn’t anyone else bold enough to use Frozen Heart on this server.

　　    Jing Yu had logged in to the game long before the stream started.  From the list of demons, he found Frozen Heart, a deathly pale “young girl” floating in mid-air.  Why the quotation marks?  Because the description clearly stated that Frozen Heart had no gender.

　　    However, their slim profile did indeed give those who glanced at them the impression of a soft and weak young girl.

　　    Frozen Heart had a head of long, white hair, the same snowy colour as their dress that danced with the wind, under which a pair of slender legs peaked out.

　　    Other than a pair of alluring purple eyes, the demon was a graceful white from head to toe, giving off an aura of iciness, as snowflakes drifted down around them.

　　    For the best aesthetics, whether it was graphics quality or ability effects, Jing Yu had them all on the highest setting.

　　    So, seeing Frozen Heart on his game interface, other than exclaiming that that 《Demon Lord》’s character designs were really incredible, the fans watching Jing Yu’s stream were also chilled by the gorgeously realistic special effects – it was almost as if they could feel the coldness emitting from Frozen Heart.

　　    As 《Demon Lord》’s top demon when ranked by beauty, Frozen Heart’s appearance gained a lot of attention and was fawned over, and this was one of the reasons Jing Yu had first started playing them obsessively.

　　    Of course, looking good was one matter, viability was another.

　　    Was Frozen Heart viable?
　　    This was debatable.  Regardless, the number of people who used Frozen Heart on the mainland server were fewer than a few.

　　    Jing Yu clicked on Ranked Matched, and successfully entered Ban&Pick mode.  After both sides banned two demons that were OP in the current meta, Jing Yu was luckily chosen to be first pick.

　　    Without needing to think, he instalocked Frozen Heart.

　　    And then the team chat exploded:
　　    【Team】 XX:  Frozen Heart?!
　　    【Team】 XX:  Are you insane?!

　　    Jing Yu, who had already expected this, shrugged his shoulders.  “Looks like it’s someone who doesn’t know me.”

            After he said that, a storm of barrage comments immediately responded, some encouraging, others roasting him.

　　    【Sitting down to watch the teammates get face-slapped!】
　　    【Gold Fish’s Frozen Heart is undefeatable!】
　　    –And the like, were encouraging him.

　　    【It’s normal not to know about you.  Don’t you have any f-ing self-awareness when it comes to your popularity?】
　　    【Instalocking Frozen Heart in ranked, you deserve to be flamed.】
　　    –And the like, were roasting him.

　　    Whether it was encouragement or roasts, Jing Yu was already used to it all.

　　    After all, this wasn’t the first time he’d used Frozen Heart to play ranked, nor was it the first time that he’d been scorned by his teammates. The same scene had repeated countless times.

　　    【It’s because your id doesn’t sound like a streamer’s.】
　　    Seeing this comment out of the blue, Jing Yu paused for a second, reflexively glancing at his own game id: Gold Fish not Salted Fish^[3].

　　    “What are you talking about?” he defended, “It’s so memorable!”

　　    But the comments aren’t letting him off.

　　    【TBH, it’s really plain.】
　　    【100% a regular player’s id~】
　　    【If they don’t watch your stream, who TF would think that this id belonged to a streamer?】

　　    Jing Yu didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

　　    【You should change your id!】
　　    【change id +1】
　　    【change id +SSN】

　　    Jing Yu didn’t really care about his id, so seeing his fans insisting, he carelessly asked, “Alright then, what should I change it to?”

　　    【JJ Stream^[4] – Gold Fish】
　　    【JJ Gold Fish】
　　    【JJ-Gold Fish^[5]】

　　    “Gold Fish^[5]…… You guys, that’s enough!”  Jing Yu didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, thinking that his cutiepies^[6] were just too cute.  “What if I abbreviate it, how does GF sound?”

　　    【OKOK.】
　　    【Okway~】
　　    【-Suddenly levels up from regular player to pro gamer-】
　　    【Hahaha, yes!  GF sounds more like a professional gamer than a streamer!】

　　    Jing Yu glanced at the game interface.  Both sides had already selected their demons and had entered the finalization phase.

　　    His teammates’ demons were all commonly used ones.  The player who mocked Jing Yu chose Lilith, a tanky mage, to solo lane.

　　    Their mid was Black Serpent, their ADC, True Arrow, and their support, Sherry.

　　    Emmm…… Even though these demons were all commonly used, assembling them together……

　　    The teammate with the id XX exploded again:
　　    【Team】 XX:  Are you all insane?!
　　    【Team】 XX:  The jungler’s already a squishy that even a support could instakill, and you guys still chose this kind of

　　    The message was sent unfinished, because the timer ended.

　　    The graphics changed, entering the loading screen.

　　    “We’re all so squishy~” Although Jing Yu was saying that, his tone was unsalvageably playful^[7].  His voice already wasn’t deep enough, and once he becomes playful, he sounded very shou^[8].

　　    【Whenever there’s a hitch, he starts running his mouth.  I’m calling the police!】
　　    【Got goosebumps, calling the police!】
　　    【Call the police!  There’s a streamer being indecent^[9] on live broadcast!】

　　    Jing Yu pretended not to see these familiar comments, and playfully said to himself, “We’re done for, we’re done for, we’re going to lose this round~ The other team’s comp is so much more reasonable than ours, they can shove us back into our fountain and still pummel us!”

　　    Those who didn’t know Jing Yu, even without listening to his words, would think his side was going to lose without question, from the team composition alone.  But Jing Yu’s true-love angels^[6] were already used to such situations.

　　    【Every time Gold Fish says that, the win’s set in stone.】
　　    【Gold Fish takes one look at the other side and starts running his mouth.】
　　    【It’s alright if you fool around while talking, just don’t fool around in the game.】

　　    Jing Yu cheerfully read the comments for a bit.  Hearing the system announce the start of the battle, he immediately turned back to the game interface, taking control of Frozen Heart and floating towards the jungle.

　　    Frozen Heart was an assassin-type jungler.  The common characteristic of this class is that they were glass cannons that had low HP.  Frozen Heart’s max health, especially, was low enough to make one’s hairs stand up.

　　    What XX said earlier about how even a support could instakill this jungler wasn’t at all an exaggeration.  There had really been players who used Frozen Heart to attempt to gank the bottom lane, only to be killed by the enemy support.

　　    This was why those who used Frozen Heart to rank up would be mocked.  Frozen Heart’s survivability was too poor and they were completely useless in team fights.  Furthermore, it was easy for the other side to – counter jungle!

　　    Counter jungling is when the enemy jungler invades the home jungle, and when Frozen Heart is on the battlefield, this becomes extremely commonplace.

　　    As Jing Yu jungled, he watched the minimap, observing the top, mid, and bottom lanes, while calculating in his heart – the time it’ll take for the other jungler to come to gank him.

　　    Thinking that it was about time, he forked out his Smite, killing the jungle monster and restoring his health to above 50%, before hiding in a nearby brush.

　　    As expected, moments later, the enemy jungler Burial Sword charged over with a 40-meter longsword.  Seeing that the largest monster was already dead, he immediately started hacking brazenly at the bushes.

　　    A Frozen Heart with only their 1st ability that faced-off with a Burial Sword with his 1st ability head-on was just looking for death.  Nevertheless, Jing Yu loved to seek death.  “Guess whether I can solo him or not?”

　　    He directed his question at his little angels^[6], but he was completely focused on the game, and didn’t know how the comments responded.

　　    But he didn’t care, because he was confident – he could kill him!

　　    Jing Yu waited patiently in the brush until Smite only had a few seconds of cooldown left, until Burial Sword with his 40-m longsword closed in on him, until the perfect time to strike. Immediately wiping wiped away all traces of frivolousness from his face, he rushed at Burial Sword with Frozen Heart!

　　    Frozen Heart’s 1^st ability, Frozen Blade, did enough damage to slice a third of Burial Sword’s health bar right off, while raising Frozen Heart’s health with life steal.  The next second, Jing Yu’s Frozen Heart ran straight at Burial Sword, closely dodging his 1^st ability, and before Burial Sword could turn around, he hit him with an auto attack.

　　    Burial Sword swung around aggressively, hacking and slashing after Frozen Heart.  Jing Yu focused all of his attention, calmly positioning and dodging as much as he could, while counter-attacking whenever possible.

　　    But even so, his health bar was still first to fall below one-third.

　　    The title of #1 most squishy wasn’t just for show, and Frozen Heart held it with a clear conscience.

　　    However, as Jing Yu watched the jungle monster that was getting closer and closer to him, the corners of his lips couldn’t help but turn upwards.  Just as he was left with only a 15-point sliver of health, the second before Burial Sword’s next auto attack would send him back to the fountain, Jing Yu used Smite on the nearby monster, bringing his health up above one-third with life steal. Then, he rushed at Burial Sword, using his 1^st ability one more time, the stab bringing Burial Sword’s health down to virtually zero.  Before Burial Sword could counter with an ability, Jing Yu hit him with an auto attack.

　　    【System】 Frozen Heart has slain an enemy!
　　    【System】 The enemy Burial Sword has been defeated!

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[1] Jing Yu’s name 荆宇 sounds really similar to goldfish in Chinese, 金鱼 (jīnyú), and that’s probably why he uses it for part of his game id.

[2] 恶魔领主;  I’m going to use “Demon Lord” when the author mentions the Chinese name and keep it as “Lord Devil” whenever she uses the English.

[3] 是金鱼不是咸鱼 (Is A Gold Fish Not A Salted Fish); his game id is a cute little joke about on his name.  To be a “salted fish” is to be someone without dreams or someone who doesn’t want to do anything.

[4] JJ Stream is the name of the streaming site Jing Yu has a contract with.  This is briefly mentioned in a bit more detail later on in the story.

[5] Italicized “Gold Fish” was already in English.

[6] 小可爱 (little cuties), 小天使 (little angels); this is how a lot of authors and streamers call their fans.

[7] 语气却浪得不行 (his tone was extremely 浪); 浪 = being unrestrained, indulgent, reckless

[8] I think everyone knows this but sounding shou basically means he’s sounds a bit like what you think of as a stereotypical gay bottom.

[9] 发骚; Google says it means being lecherous, etc., but I’m going to stick with “indecent”.